Sympathy please.

I have had an awful couple of days.
I have Flu and in an effort to stay away from my dad (beacuse he is on oxygen 12 hours a day and if got it i don't know how he would cope) I went to stay over James' house. but that all went wrong and I couldn't relax and I got worse so I'm home today confined to my bedroom.

Now that the moaning is over: I just watched the first episode of 'The Diary of Anne Frank' on iplayer today and the first thing that struck me was 'OMG the set is exacly as it should be.' I went to Anne Frank's house when I went to University in Holland at easter. The moment when you round the corner and see a bookcase proped open made me catch my breath. You have to squeeze through the gap. Funny thing is it's almost as I imagined when reading her diary. In the living room I ran my fingers down the knife marks on the sideboard next to the sink. Edith chopped veg here.
They have done an awsome job with the set and the street scenes. The way it is acted is very interesting and from what I remember from the old dramatisation - this version seems to be more, I don't know, real? The way Mr and Mrs Van Daan are screaming at each other one day and pinching bottoms the next.

Hope it will be a good series.
Lx

P.s I've written nothing - my brain is being invaded by little flu minions - head gits with little pick axes.

2008

Since everyone seems to be looking back at the past year I thought I would do the same. Although mine wont be as colourful or eventful as some I've read.

Dad was in hospital in Febuary this year and I was scared, I really was.
He recovered and I left for Holland at the beginning of March to go to Uni for a month in Maastricht. I was scared to leave them after what had happened but my Dad told me to go because I've never had an oportunity like that before, and I would be an idiot to let fear stop me. I had such an experience. I made some truly amazing friends and saw some very interesting and uplifting things.

The best part was that I booked an earlier flight to come home and surprised James. It felt so good to see him after a month. I didn't realised how much I would miss him.

I passed my second year of Uni, not terriblly well, but I passed and got into the third year - which is what counts.

I couldn't get a job over the summer becasue Mam had an operation and I had to care for her and Dad. I was soooooo poor. I borrowed money left right and centre and I'm still suffering for it.

I went with James and my brother to the british superbikes in Donington just before Uni started back and I enjoyed it more than I expected considering we were sat in a half-tent for most of it sheltering from the monsoon.

Uni started back and I'm feeling possitive but also healthily worried about my Dissertation.

Christmas has been strained and different. I don't think it will ever be the same again. But maybe it's changing into a new kind of christmas, I spent a lot of time with James and for the first time in 4 years I saw him on Christmas day.

I'm at home on New years eve, as you can see. I got invited out by my friend Zara and she nagged and nagged for me to go, but I just feel like theres nothing to celebrate - not yet. new year seems like a time of looking back. Zara kept saying 'i just want to celebrate and bring the new year in with you' but you don't know what it will be like. How can you pre-celebrate it? I'd rather have an amazing night a year from now and look back at 2009 and think about all the things I never thought I would have done, all the things I achieved.

So heres to the future - to getting a house - to getting a 1st class degree - to getting motivated - to being healthy and happy - to drinking less - to smiling more - and to stop worrying about the little things I can't change.

Happy New year all! Hope it's a good one for you.

Lx

Every time I hear a motorbike I jump and think 'is that him?' then I look out of the window and it's a shitty chav on some 125cc moped crap. I should really learn what his bike sounds like. I wont see him until next tuesday now.

I've avoided blogging over xmas. I havn't been at all Christmassy and I know that it would have just been a page full of moans and groans about how I've had too much to do and I've done no homework whatsoever.
So this week I'm aiming to do a lot of work and ignore all the festivities because I'd rather sacrifice one Christmas if it means getting a good degree in a few months. A FEW MONTHS! Where is time going?? Right now this entire thing seems to be running away from me and I want to do so well.

I'm going to look at my journals today. rewrite a poem and e-mail it to Philip Gross. I'm annoyed with myself that I'm not taking advantage of the opportunity to work with him. I've really not done as much as I wanted and I don't like myself, my lack of motivation and drive. I'm like a meandering disorganised dreamer.

Ok. This isn't getting the baby bathed.